My Wedding

Sunday, November 27, 2011

amazing reminders for all of us....

Baby boy update at 7 + months.... many failed attempts to stand...but still working hard...inshaAllah soon....

Amazing reminders

Do not try to change your spouse! People always say things like; "How can you let your spouse do that?" Let him/her??? That's NOT how it is supposed to work in marriage. He/She is your spouse, not your child!

The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it is learning to love the person you found

In relationships, we are working day and night to provide and receive:
• advice,
• support,
• good company,
• conversation,
• a sense of belonging
• security,
• shelter,
• food,
• love,
• care,
• attention.

Sadly, either these are not enough or we fail after each trial. This is because when it comes to the relationship we have with Allah(swt) many of us happily receive but never give in return. 
Therefore, we have to cultivate our relationship with Allah(swt) on a daily basis if we do not want to fail in life. *♥*

••• How to cope when you have learnt your spouse is unfaithful to you: •••

Have hope that your marriage can survive your spouse cheating on you. Here's what you can do to get beyond the hurt, forgive your unfaithful spouse, and save your marriage.

Here's How:

◘ Don't make any major decisions about ending your marriage now just because your spouse has been unfaithful. This is the time to do some reflection on your marriage to see what other issues other than this infidelity need to be recognized and dealt with.

◘ Feelings are neither right or wrong. Accept that your feelings of rage, uncertainty, shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression and confusion about having an unfaithful spouse are normal.

◘ Take care of yourself.

◘ Balance is the key to getting through this experience of coping with infidelity. Force yourself to eat healthy foods, to stay on a schedule, to sleep regular hours, etc.

◘ Spend some time with people who make you smile. Life goes on in spite of heartache and unfaithful spouses.

◘ Tears are healthy too.

◘ Pray to Allah to grant you endless patience to deal with difficult situations.

◘ Ask all the questions you want. Talk with your spouse about the infidelity. However, you may have to accept that your spouse may not know why the infidelity took place.

◘ Seek counseling (of knowledgeable people). Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone.

One of the most successful husbands

♥ He knows how to strike a balance between pleasing his wife and treating his mother with due kindness and respect.

The sincere Muslim husband draws upon his intelligence, compassion and strength of character in his dealings with both his wife and his mother, in such a way that he does not offend either of them. So he cannot be disobedient towards his mother or oppressive towards his wife. Rather, he recognizes his mother’s rights and treats her in the best possible way, while also recognizing his wife’s rights. He does not detract from his wife’s rights in the course of fulfilling his duty towards his mother and taking care of her. The truly sincere Muslim is able to do this, as long as he is truly conscious of Allah (S.W.T.) (i.e., has taqwA.) and follows the guidance and teachings of Islam, which treat both mother and wife with fairness and give each her due status. 

♥ He understands his wife and respects her feelings. The true Muslim always understands his wife and respects her feelings. 

♥ He does not criticize her family or any of her relations in front of her, out of respect for her feelings. In return, she respects his feelings and does not do or say anything that may adversely affect any member of his family.

♥ He does not disclose any secret that she has entrusted to him, or spread any story that she has told him in confidence, for carelessness in such matters all too often explodes into conflict between the spouses and extinguishes the love between them. The sincere Muslim husband is protected from all of that, so long as he continues to follow the guidance of Islam. 

♥ He helps her to make up for her failings and weaknesses. 

The sincere Muslim husband tries to make up for what his wife lacks, if he feels that she is lacking in knowledge or manners. He does this in the gentlest, kindest and most positive manner. If he encounters defiance or wilful deviance on her part, he brings her back to the straight and narrow in a gentle, humane and intelligent manner, avoiding harsh criticism or rebuking her in front of people, no matter what the reason. The most hurtful thing for a woman is that someone should hear her being reprimanded or witness her being scolded. The true Muslim is the most sensitive and respectful towards the feelings of others. 

♥ He fully understands his role as a protector and maintainer (qawwam) of his wife.

With such good attitudes and gentle treatment, the Muslim husband wins the heart of his wife, so she does not disobey him in anything. Therefore the Muslim man has been given the position of qawwam over women, because of the characteristics which Islam instills in him, the qualifications it has given him and the conditions and limits it has imposed on him:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because of Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means...]" 

(Qur’an 4:34)

1 comment:

Wak Gelas™ said...

wak pon sayang bini wak jugakkk... eeeeE wak dh dateng niiii nk komen komennnnn..........