My Wedding

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

durian crazy

i was just talking to nadnaddy about durian, so here i am writting a post on durian..

let me say i use to be one of those that absolutely hates durian..i cant even stand the i use to wonder why people go crazy over durian...the moment i see people eat durian at my house, i will just walk away..or stay in my room..mmg i wont stick around to smell the durian aroma...

until one day(about 6 weeks ago) it was Jcard day at the newly renovated jusco at one utama...i went to jusco coz i wanted to buy organic baby food for my baby boy, lepas tu they said only for j card like UUUURGHHHH, fine there n then i applied for the card, coz my baby was hungry, n i have to feed him...cold storage mahal sgt pulak, n its a new wing...jauuuuhhh....

while we were there, i saw hubby looking at the durian...i said ' no way"..coz he just had so many at kuantan...coz we just came back from a weekend at kuantan...he was like ala 1 packet like ' fine make sure they pack it properly so the car tak bau'... n it was his rezeki, suddenly they did promo at the durian 1 durian raja kunyit, free 1 its RM 50 for 2 packets..( yes believe it people, that durian is rm 50 for like 6 ulas je)

n then we went home.....n was i complaining,,,i was like ur durian is mahal like patchi/godiva chocolates...coz im a i LLLLOOOOOOVVVEEEE dark chocolates...

n he said., why not u give it a try?...i said, of course not...n then he took a bite...and i saw hubby's face,..i asked 'sedap sgt ke???' he was like omg..yes its really that good...the ulas is so big, but the biji is small n leper..its all just full of isi..i was like ok lah..i will try some..n then i ate it...and after the first bite i was like
 " OMGoodness, this is soooo sedap"..subhanallah the greatnees of Allah SWT wonder its the king of fruits...

n guess what, ive been eating durian ever since..almost every few days me and hubby will buy i can say hubby's biggest mistake is to let me try the most expensive/good durian ...coz now i keep craving for that durian...

my baby boy pun loooves durian..hehehe....9 months pun dah pandai makan..but he will hisap sikit2 only...

Sunday, December 25, 2011

10 ways to avoid marrying the wrong person (also a good reminder for the married ones)

There is a right way and a wrong way to get to know someone for marriage. The wrong way is to get caught up in the excitement and nuance of a budding relationship and in the process completely forget to ask the critical questions that help determine compatibility. One of the biggest mistakes that many young Muslims make is rushing into marriage without properly and thoroughly getting to know someone. A common myth is that the duration of a courtship is an accurate enough measure of how compatible two people are. The logic follows that the longer you speak with someone, the better you will know them. The problem with that premise is that no consideration is given to how that time is spent. Increasingly, young Muslim couples are engaging in “halal dating,” which is basically socializing with each other in the company of friends and/or family. This includes going out to dinner, watching a movie, playing some sport or other leisure activity, etc. Depending on the family or culture, conversations are either minimal & chaperoned or worse, unrestricted and unsupervised. When you consider these limitations it makes one wonder when exactly, if ever at all, would the critical conversations take place? Unfortunately, for many, the answer is never and they live to suffer the consequences. If you or someone you know is in the “getting to know someone” phase, the following guide offers advice on exactly what to look for and avoid:

1) Do Not Marry Potential: Oftentimes men consider marrying a woman hoping she never changes while a woman considers marrying a man she hopes she can change. This is the wrong approach on both accounts. Don’t assume that you can change a person after you’re married to them or that they will reach their potential. There is no guarantee, after all, that those changes will be for the better. In fact, it’s often for the worse. If you can’t accept someone or imagine living with them as they are then don’t marry them. These differences can include a number of things such as ideological or practical differences in religion, habits, hygiene, communication skills, etc.

2) Choose Character over Chemistry: While chemistry and attraction are no doubt important, character precedes them both. A famous quote follows, “Chemistry ignites the fire, but character keeps it burning.” The idea of falling “in love” should never be the sole reason for marrying someone; it is very easy to confuse infatuation and lust for love. The most important character traits to look for include humility, kindness, responsibility, & happiness. Here’s a breakdown of each trait:

Humility: The humble person never makes demands of people but rather always does right by them. They put their values and principles above convenience and comfort. They are slow to anger, are modest, and avoid materialism.
Kindness: The kind person is the quintessential giver. They seek to please and minimize the pain of others. To know if a person is a giver, observe how they treat their family, siblings, and parents. Do they have gratitude towards their parents for all that they’ve done for them? If not, then know that they will never appreciate what you do for them. How do they treat people they don’t have to be kind towards (i.e. waiters, sales associates, employees, etc)? How do they spend their money? How do they deal with anger; their own anger and their reaction to someone else’s anger?
Responsibility: A responsible person has stability in their finances, relationships, job, and character. You can you rely on this person and trust what they say.
Happiness: A happy person is content with their portion in life. They feel good about themselves and good about their life. They focus on what they have rather than on what they don’t have. They very rarely complain.
3) Do Not Neglect The Emotional Needs of Your Partner: Both men and women have emotional needs and in order for a partnership to be successful those needs must be mutually met. The fundamental emotional need of a woman is to be loved. The fundamental emotional need of a man is to be respected and appreciated. To make a woman feel loved give her the three AAAs: Attention, Affection, & Appreciation. To make a man feel loved give him the three RRRs: Respect, Reassurance, & Relief. It is the obligation of each partner to make sure the other is happy and this extends to intimacy as well. As long as each partner is fulfilled by the emotional needs of the other, the intimate relationship will thrive. When a man takes seriously the emotional needs of his wife she will feel more encouraged to fulfill his sexual desires. Likewise, when a woman takes seriously the emotional needs of her husband he will feel more encouraged to give her the affection, love and appreciation she wants from him. Working together in this way encourages both giving and receiving.

4) Avoid Opposing Life Plans: In marriage you can either grow together or grow apart. Sharing a common purpose in life will increase the chance that you will grow together.

You must know what the person is into. In other words, what are they ultimately passionate about? Then ask yourself, “Do I respect this passion?” “Do I respect what they are into?”
The more specifically you define yourself, i.e., your values, your beliefs, your lifestyle, the better chance you have of finding your life partner, your soul mate, the one you are most compatible with.
Remember, before you decide who to take along on a trip, you should first figure out your destination.
5) Avoid Pre-Marital Sexual/Physical Activity:

Recognize that there is incredible wisdom in why God has ordered us to refrain from intimacy before marriage; they are to prevent great harms as well as to keep sacred what is the most blessed part of a relationship between a man and a woman.
Aside from the obvious spiritual consequences, when a relationship gets physical before its time, important issues like character, life philosophy, and compatibility go to the wayside. Consequently, everything is romanticized and it becomes difficult to even remember the important issues let alone talk about them.
Intellectual commitment must be established before emotional or sexual commitment.
6) Avoid Lack of Emotional Connection: There are four questions that you must answer YES to:

Do I respect and admire this person? What specifically do I respect and admire about this person?
Do I trust this person? Can I rely on them? Do I trust their judgment? Do I trust their word? Can I believe what they say?
Do I feel Safe? Do I feel emotionally safe with this person? Can I be vulnerable? Can I be myself? Can I be open? Can I express myself?
Do I feel calm and at peace with this person?
If the answer is “I don’t know, I’m not sure, etc.” keep evaluating until you know for sure and truly understand how you feel. If you don’t feel safe now, you won’t feel safe when you are married. If you don’t trust now, this won’t change when you are married!

7) Pay Attention to Your Own Emotional Anxiety: Choosing someone you don’t feel safe with emotionally is not a good recipe for a long-lasting and loving marriage. Feeling emotionally safe is the foundation of a strong and healthy marriage. When you don’t feel safe, you can’t express your feelings and opinions. Learn how to identify whether you are in an abusive relationship. If you feel you always have to monitor what you say, if you are with someone and you feel you can’t really express yourself and are always walking on eggshells, then it’s very likely you are in an abusive relationship. Look for the following things:

Controlling behavior: This includes controlling the way you act, the way you think, the way you dress, the way you wear your hair/hijab and the way you spend your time. Know the difference between suggestions and demands. Demands are an expression of control and if the demands are implied, than you must do it or there will be consequences. All of these are clear indications of abusive personalities.
Anger issues: This is someone who raises their voice on a regular basis, who is angry, gets angry at you, uses anger against you, uses put downs, and curses at you, etc. You don’t have to put up with this type of treatment. Many people who tolerate this behavior usually come from abusive backgrounds. If this is the case with you or someone you know, get help right away. Deal with those issues before getting married or before even thinking about getting married.
Beware of Lack of Openness In Your Partner: Many couples make the mistake of not putting everything on the table for discussion from the onset. Ask yourself, “What do I need to know to be absolutely certain I want to marry this person?” “What bothers me about this person or the relationship?” It’s very important to identify what’s bothering you, things that concern you, and things you are afraid to bring up for discussion. Then you must have an honest discussion about them. This is a great way to test the strength of your relationship. Bringing up issues when there’s conflict is a great opportunity to really evaluate how well you communicate, negotiate, and work together as a team. When people get into power struggles and blame each other, it’s an indication they don’t work well as a team. Also important is being vulnerable around each other. Ask deep questions of each other and see how your partner responds. How do they handle it? Are they defensive? Do they attack? Do they withdraw? Do they get annoyed? Do they blame you? Do they ignore it? Do they hide or rationalize it? Don’t just listen to what they say but watch for how they say it!

9) Beware of Avoiding Personal Responsibility: It’s very important to remember no one else is responsible for your happiness. Many people make the mistake of thinking someone else will fulfill them and make their life better and that’s their reason for getting married. People fail to realize that if they are unhappy as a single person, they will continue to be miserable when they are married. If you are currently not happy with yourself, don’t like yourself, don’t like the direction your life is going now, it’s important to take responsibility for that now and work on improving those areas of your life before considering marriage. Don’t bring these issues into your marriage and hope your partner will fix them.

10) Watch Out For Lack of Emotional Health and Availability In Your Potential Partner: Many people choose partners that are not emotionally healthy or available. One huge problem is when a partner is unable to balance the emotional ties to family members, the marriage ends up having 3 (or more) people in it rather than two. An example of this would be if a man is overly dependent on his mother and brings that relationship into the marriage; this is no doubt a recipe for disaster. Also important to consider are the following:

Avoid people who are emotionally empty inside. These include people who don’t like themselves because they lack the ability to be emotionally available. They are always preoccupied with their deficiencies, insecurities, and negative thoughts. They are in a perpetual fight with depression, never feel good, are isolated, are critical and judgmental; tend to not have any close friends, and often distrust people or are afraid of them. Another clear indication about them is they always feel their needs are not getting met; they have a sense of entitlement and feel angry when they feel people should take care of them and they don’t. They feel burdened by other people’s needs and feel resentment towards them. These people can not be emotionally available to build healthy relationships.
Addictions can also limit the level of availability of the partner to build a strong emotional relationship. Never marry an addict. Addictions are not limited to drugs and alcohol. They can be about addictions and dependency on work, internet, hobbies, sports, shopping, money, power, status, materialism, etc. When someone has an addiction, they will not and can not be emotionally available to develop an intimate relationship with you!
Additional Points to Consider:

The fact is no one looks 25 forever. Ultimately, we love the person we marry for more than their appearance. When we get to know someone we love and admire, we’ll love them for their inner beauty and overall essence.
Once we find someone, we consciously or subconsciously want so badly for it all to work that we decide not to question or see what is clearly in front of our eyes: they were rude to the waiter, speaks ill of others, is rude to you, etc. We don’t stop to ask, “What does all of this mean about their character?”
Never separate someone from their family, background, education, belief system, etc. Asking clear questions can clarify this. Ask questions like, “What does it mean to have a simple lifestyle?” “What are your expectations of marriage?” “How would you help around the house?” Compare your definition with theirs.
Be flexible. Be open-minded!
Giving in a happy marriage should not be confused with martyrdom. It should be about taking pleasure and seeing the other person as happy because of your connection with them.
Morality and spirituality are the qualities that truly define someone in addition to beauty, money, and health. The morally upright and spiritual person will stand by your side during adversity and hardship. If someone isn’t God-conscience and doesn’t take themselves into account with God then why should you expect them to fulfill their rights owed to you? The ideal partner is someone who considers giving a gain and not causing a loss. Having a mutual and shared spiritual relationship will foster a successful marriage. Furthermore, a successful marriage is one that keeps the laws of family purity which require a certain degree of self-control and self-discipline, as well as the belief that the physical side of the relationship includes the spiritual and emotional side as well. Finding commonality and balance between the spiritual and emotional aspects of a relationship is a strong key to a healthy and thriving marriage.

The above article was [in part] inspired by and adapted from a presentation by Rabbi Dov Heller, M.A.

Sunday, November 27, 2011

amazing reminders for all of us....

Baby boy update at 7 + months.... many failed attempts to stand...but still working hard...inshaAllah soon....

Amazing reminders

Do not try to change your spouse! People always say things like; "How can you let your spouse do that?" Let him/her??? That's NOT how it is supposed to work in marriage. He/She is your spouse, not your child!

The key to succeeding in marriage is not finding the right person; it is learning to love the person you found

In relationships, we are working day and night to provide and receive:
• advice,
• support,
• good company,
• conversation,
• a sense of belonging
• security,
• shelter,
• food,
• love,
• care,
• attention.

Sadly, either these are not enough or we fail after each trial. This is because when it comes to the relationship we have with Allah(swt) many of us happily receive but never give in return. 
Therefore, we have to cultivate our relationship with Allah(swt) on a daily basis if we do not want to fail in life. *♥*

••• How to cope when you have learnt your spouse is unfaithful to you: •••

Have hope that your marriage can survive your spouse cheating on you. Here's what you can do to get beyond the hurt, forgive your unfaithful spouse, and save your marriage.

Here's How:

◘ Don't make any major decisions about ending your marriage now just because your spouse has been unfaithful. This is the time to do some reflection on your marriage to see what other issues other than this infidelity need to be recognized and dealt with.

◘ Feelings are neither right or wrong. Accept that your feelings of rage, uncertainty, shock, agitation, fear, pain, depression and confusion about having an unfaithful spouse are normal.

◘ Take care of yourself.

◘ Balance is the key to getting through this experience of coping with infidelity. Force yourself to eat healthy foods, to stay on a schedule, to sleep regular hours, etc.

◘ Spend some time with people who make you smile. Life goes on in spite of heartache and unfaithful spouses.

◘ Tears are healthy too.

◘ Pray to Allah to grant you endless patience to deal with difficult situations.

◘ Ask all the questions you want. Talk with your spouse about the infidelity. However, you may have to accept that your spouse may not know why the infidelity took place.

◘ Seek counseling (of knowledgeable people). Don't try to get through coping with unfaithfulness alone.

One of the most successful husbands

♥ He knows how to strike a balance between pleasing his wife and treating his mother with due kindness and respect.

The sincere Muslim husband draws upon his intelligence, compassion and strength of character in his dealings with both his wife and his mother, in such a way that he does not offend either of them. So he cannot be disobedient towards his mother or oppressive towards his wife. Rather, he recognizes his mother’s rights and treats her in the best possible way, while also recognizing his wife’s rights. He does not detract from his wife’s rights in the course of fulfilling his duty towards his mother and taking care of her. The truly sincere Muslim is able to do this, as long as he is truly conscious of Allah (S.W.T.) (i.e., has taqwA.) and follows the guidance and teachings of Islam, which treat both mother and wife with fairness and give each her due status. 

♥ He understands his wife and respects her feelings. The true Muslim always understands his wife and respects her feelings. 

♥ He does not criticize her family or any of her relations in front of her, out of respect for her feelings. In return, she respects his feelings and does not do or say anything that may adversely affect any member of his family.

♥ He does not disclose any secret that she has entrusted to him, or spread any story that she has told him in confidence, for carelessness in such matters all too often explodes into conflict between the spouses and extinguishes the love between them. The sincere Muslim husband is protected from all of that, so long as he continues to follow the guidance of Islam. 

♥ He helps her to make up for her failings and weaknesses. 

The sincere Muslim husband tries to make up for what his wife lacks, if he feels that she is lacking in knowledge or manners. He does this in the gentlest, kindest and most positive manner. If he encounters defiance or wilful deviance on her part, he brings her back to the straight and narrow in a gentle, humane and intelligent manner, avoiding harsh criticism or rebuking her in front of people, no matter what the reason. The most hurtful thing for a woman is that someone should hear her being reprimanded or witness her being scolded. The true Muslim is the most sensitive and respectful towards the feelings of others. 

♥ He fully understands his role as a protector and maintainer (qawwam) of his wife.

With such good attitudes and gentle treatment, the Muslim husband wins the heart of his wife, so she does not disobey him in anything. Therefore the Muslim man has been given the position of qawwam over women, because of the characteristics which Islam instills in him, the qualifications it has given him and the conditions and limits it has imposed on him:

"Men are the protectors and maintainers [qawwamun] of women, because of Allah has given the one more [strength] than the other, and because they support them from their means...]" 

(Qur’an 4:34)

Sunday, November 20, 2011

goood news for bride to b'sss

remember this wedding.....

i think this was one of the most talked about wedding in 2009....

guess what???

aliah has started blogging about it....

visit here:

Hadith of the day:  The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said: “The worst thief is the one

who steals from his own prayer.” People asked: ‘Messenger of Allah! How could one steal from 

his own prayer?’ He said: “By not completing its rukoo and sujood” [Tabarani] 

Friday, November 18, 2011

introducing solids...

i want to share my experience on starting my baby with solids...

it all started when he was 4 months old..he started drinking milk more n more frequent...sometimes every hour he wants to drink milk ( my son is breastfed, alhamdulillah) so everyone said ohh maybe baby dah start lapar, so can introduce slowly makanan...but of course i was very scared to start so early, i just fed my baby with more milk...every hour pun every hour..sanggup...

and then he was 5 months...alhamdulillah my baby size is slightly big...his weight was about 7.5 kgs...but remember this post, where he fell sick...yes it all started from there...he started loosing weight....sbb tak minum byk...after that when he felt better, he started gaining back his weight...alhmdulillah...

but he i can see a change in him...he is very uneasy... moody...and malam, he wakes up sampai 10 times minum susu je...people told me many times, maybe he is hungry, u can start feeding him, coz he was showing all the signs...he was moody, suka tgk org makan....he is always moving his mouth everytime he sees food..everyone said maybe i should feed my baby early..

n then the next week, he was still uneasy...he shouts n cry n pretty much the whole night dia nak feed je...n to make things worst, he pee and his poo poo...makin kurang...after half day of weating diapers, sometimes still kering je diaper dia...but i told myself, takpa 1 more week je..coz takut my baby is not ready

so the next week alhamdulillah  1 started feeding him...i baught rice cereal, then put a bit of milk..n then i fed him...tapi very cair..and i did that for 2 weeks..coz many websites i read yang instruct how to start feeding ur baby solids.

finally 2 weeks ago, my baby was shouting n shouting when everyone was eating...n my mum said bagi jelah ur baby bubur..just masak for him bubur, blend n give him..stop giving him all this rice cereal yg instant..n that is what i did..i masak bubur nasi n rebus with carrot, n i fed him...n for the first time he makan, kenyang n he was mum said, see ur baby is so happy alhamdulillah...

n for a few days, i fed my baby 3 times a day rice with veggies...n mashaAllah he has been such a pleasant baby since then..tak bising...he will play, n malam he will just drink sikit n sleep..around 3 kali je he will wake up for milk...

so yes... my mum was right..i should have just fed him earlier...even my sisters pun sedar, n said ur baby now dah more calm...

i know i should have started feeding him earlier..but i was stubborn, i thought what i read online is better than what my mum, mother inlaw, aunties experienced with anak2 diorg.....

now ive learnt sometimes, org org tua do know better..than me yg sibuk find information online je..hehehe...lesson learnt..maybe breastfed babies, can eat slightly earlier, coz our milk cepat process so they get hungry faster..but it all depends on each baby's individual development..remember every baby is different...ada babies yang tak ready to eat earlier then 6 months...

but it wasnt too late...alhamdulillah..its all a learning process for me...

Thursday, November 17, 2011

bertudung kerana terpaksa??

Bertudung kerana terpaksa?

Untuk pengetahuan ustaz,ibu saya telah menyuruh saya memakai tudung ketika saya berumur 13 tahun lagi. Saya hanya menurut katanya kerana bimbang dimarahi. Walaupun begitu, sekarang saya tidak lekat memakai tudung. Ini diketahui oleh ibu saya, dia hanya mampu membebel dan berkata, adik nak buat dosa, adik tanggung la sendiri, ibu dah buat apa yang patut. Sekarang saya sudah bekerja dan hanya memakai tudung di tempat kerja sahaja kerana di tempat saya, tindakan undang-undang akan dikenakan sekiranya pekerja tidak memakai tudung. Saya tahu hukum tidak menutup aurat, tetapi buat waktu sekarang, hati saya tidak terbuka lagi untuk terus menutup aurat (rambut dan leher). Cara pemakaian saya tidak seperti rakan-rakan saya yang menutup aurat.

Mereka bertudung tetapi pemakaian mereka tidak melambangkan imej mereka. Baju, seluar ketat yang menampakkan susuk tubuh. Bagi yang memakai baju kurung, ada yang dari kain yang nipis dan jarang. Bagi yang berbaju kebaya, ianya terlalu ketat, berkain belah sehingga menampakkan betis dan jarang. Ada yang tidak memakai seluar tetapi memakai skirt panjang. Walaupun begitu, ianya ketat dan menampakkan garis pakaian dalam yang dipakainya. Tudung yang dipakai pula tidak menutupi dada. Lelaki-lelaki yang memandang tidak berkelip melihat mereka.

Ada juga rakan saya yang betul-betul menutup aurat tetapi perangai dan kelakuan mereka lebih teruk dari perempuan yang tidak memakai tudung. Tidak menunaikan solat, panjang tangan, mengumpat, melayan lelaki yang bukan muhrim, pengotor dan pelbagai karenah lagi. Walaupun saya tidak memakai tudung, saya menjaga solat, pemakaian dan tingkah laku saya. Kawan-kawan saya ini ada menyuruh saya supaya terus memakai tudung tetapi saya tidak mahu menjadi hipokrit. Saya mahu berubah kerana saya sendiri yang ingin berubah. Saya mahu melakukannya dengan ikhlas, bukan kerana disuruh. Saya tahu hari itu akan tiba tetapi bukan sekarang. Semoga ALLAH membuka hati saya untuk terus memakai tudung. Amiin... - Diera –


Ada beberapa perkara yang saudari utarakan dalam soalan dan ingin saya berikan respon ringkas. Iaitu :-

1) Isu tidak mahu bertudung ( menutup aurat) tanpa ikhlas kerana tidak mahu hipokrit serta tidak mahu berubah kerana disuruh.

Sebenarnya isu ini telah agak banyak saya sentuh di dalam artikel-artikel yang lalu seperti berikut :- • Aurat wanita apa sudah jadi? • Wanita, aurat dan Kerjaya Namun demikian, disebabkan soalan ini ada menyentuh beberapa isu yang agak semasa dan kerap, saya berasa perlu untuk memberikan ulasan tambahan.

Begini ulasannya, Allah swt dan RasulNya telah mengarahkan seluruh wanita muslimah untuk menutup aurat dan bukan hanya bertudung. Justeru, sama ada seseorang itu ikhlas atau tidak, suka atau tidak, disuruh oleh orang lain atau terbit dari hatinya sendiri, dia tetap WAJIB di sisi Allah untuk melaksanakan kewajiban itu. Sebagaimana seorang pemandu tidak berhemah warganegara Malaysia yang menetap di United Kingdom ( UK ), dia akan terpaksa mengubah cara pemanduannya kerana hemah pemandu di UK amat tinggi, sesiapa sahaja yang kurang berhemah akan segera mendapat teguran pemandu lain, malah adakalanya pemandu lain akan segera menelefon polis atau mencatat nombor plat kereta untuk diadukan kepada polis. Atas sebab itu, pemandu yang asalnya ‘brutal' di Malaysia, TERPAKSA berubah di UK .

Tidak kiralah sama ada dia berubah kerana hipokrit, terpaksa, tidak ikhlas atau apa jua sebab lauaran. Hakikatnya, dia MESTI berubah, kerana itu adalah system dan regulasinya. Mengabaikannya akan membawa mudarat kepada diri sendiri dan pemandu orang lain. Sama seperti menutup aurat dan bertudung, itu adalah regulasi oleh agama Islam, mengabaikannya akan membawa mudarat spiritual kepada diri sendiri dan juga orang lain (kerana setiap lelaki yang melihat aurat wanita bukan mahram, akan berdosa dan dosanya dikongsi bersama oleh wanita tersebut).! Justeru itu, hipokrit tidak boleh sama sekali menjadi PENGHALANG untuk mengerjakan semua KEWAJIBAN agama, termasuk menutup aurat. Ia adalah arahan Allah dan hak Allah untuk menguji hambaNya. Sama seperti mendirikan solat, membayar zakat, puasa Ramadhan dan semua arahan serta larangan Islam yang lain, sama ada seseorang itu ikhlas atau tidak, terpaksa atau tidak. Kewajiban untuk melakukan semua arahan wajib dan menjauhi larangan yang diharam tetap tertanggung di atas bahunya, walaupun dia tidak ikhlas atau masih gagal mencapai tahap Ikhlas.

Apa yang perlu diusahakan adalah terus menerus berusaha memperoleh ikhlas semasa melaksanakan perintah dan menjauhi larangan itu. Itu boleh dianggap sebagai adalah level kedua kesempurnaan ibadah. Level pertama adalah mesti melaksanakan tuntutan Islam. Perlu diingat, jika seseorang menutup aurat dan menunaikan solat secara ikhlas atau separa ikhlas, maka dia akan beroleh ganjaran sekadar keikhlasannya. Namun tanggungjawab fizikal yang diwajibkan oleh agama dikira sudah terlaksana secara zahirnya. ATAU kata lainnya, tatkala itu dia hanya BERDOSA SEKALI iaitu kerana tidakmelaksanakannya secara ikhlas, tetapi dia terhindar dari dosa tidak mengerjakan yang wajib ke atasnya secara zahir. Namun jika dia degil dan tidak menutup aurat, tidak juga solat atas alasan TIDAK IKHLAS, TIDAK MAHU HIPOKRIT dan sebagainya. Tindakannya itu menjadikannya BERDOSA di sisi Allah secara fizikal dan juga spiritual, atau dalam kata lainnya, dia berdosa DUA KALI.

Dosa di level pertama dan kedua sekaligus, malah lebih musnah apabila dosa level pertama itu sangat mudah bercambah apabila ia berjangkit kepada orang lain, seperti apabila sahaja ada mata lelaki bukan mahram yang melihat, ketika itu dosa bukan hanya dua kali tetapi sebanyak mata lelaki yang melihat. Adapun bagi mereka yang tidak ikhlas tadi, at least dia sudah terselamat dari cambahan dosa dari mata lelaki. Kesimpulannya, ‘ingin berubah hasil hati sendiri', ‘tidak ikhlas' dan ‘tidak mahu hipokrit' itu semuanya hanya bisikan syaitan yang ingin menyesatkan hamba Allah agar terus menerus menjauhi kewajibannya. Sedarlah agar jangan lagi terpedaya, ingatlah berterusan dalam dosa sedang mengetahui hukumnya akan terus menerus menambah besar kemurkaan Allah swt dan akan menjadikan diri sama sekali TIDAK MAMPU berubah di satu hari nanti yang diharapkan.


Kembali kepada persoalan saudari, dari bait-bait ayat saudari, kelihatan saudari begitu benci dan terganggu serta terkesan dengan keburukan akhlak dan cara tutupan aurat rakan sekerja yang lain yang dikatakan memakai tudung tetapi ketat dan sebagainya. Sehingga saudari merasa mereka semua hipokrit, buruk perangai, pengotor dan sebagainya, walau bertudung. Sebelum itu, saya perlu ingatkan saudari dikira bertuah kerana mendapat kerja di sebuah syarikat yang begitu perihatin dalam masalah agama sehingga mewajibkan kakitangan mereka untuk menutup aurat. Satu perkara mesti jelas juga, semua wanita yang bertudung tetapi berbaju ketat, skirt panjang terbelah, berbaju kebaya sempit dan sebagainya, semua mereka berada di satu level pada pandangan Islam. Iaitu SEMUA SEDANG MELAKUKAN DOSA DAN SEMUA TIDAK MENUTUP AURAT.

Justeru, adalah SALAH bagi saudari menganggap ‘rakan sekerja itu' SEBAGAI MENUTUP AURAT TETAPI BURUK AKHLAK DAN BERDOSA. Sebabnya, mereka juga TIDAK MENUTUP AURAT. Malah jika mereka benar-benar menutup aurat sekalipun, adalah SALAH untuk merujuk kepada mereka dalam menetap pendirian sama ada saudari perlu sudah sampai masa untuk menutup aurat atau tidak. Ingatlah bahawa yang diwajibkan oleh Allah bukanlah hanya bertudung kepala dan menutup leher, tetapi menutup seluruh bahagian aurat tubuh.

Selain itu, adalah salah sama sekali dalam hal ehwal agama, untuk kita membandingkan diri kita dengan mereka yang lebih buruk agama dan akhlak. Ia adalah teknik Syaitan uuntuk menghentikan seseorang dari melakukan usaha pemulihan diri kepada yang lebih baik. Jelas dari hadis Nabi s.a.w, dalam hal agama dan kepatuhannya, kita mesti sentiasa melihat mereka yang lebih dari kita, agar kita terus berusaha. Manakala dalam hal keduniaan, barulah kita disuruh oleh Islam untuk melihat mereka yang kurang berbanding kita, agar kita lebih tahu untuk bersyukur dan tidak dijangkiti penyakit tamak.

Sabda Nabi :- خَصْلَتَانِ من كَانَتَا فيه كَتَبَهُ الله شَاكِرًا صَابِرًا وَمَنْ لم تَكُونَا فيه لم يَكْتُبْهُ الله شَاكِرًا ولا صَابِرًا من نَظَرَ في دِينِهِ إلى من هو فَوْقَهُ فَاقْتَدَى بِهِ ونظر في دُنْيَاهُ إلى من هو دُونَهُ فَحَمِدَ اللَّهَ على ما فَضَّلَهُ بِهِ عليه .. Ertinya : Dua perkara yang sesiapa dapat perolehinya akan ditulis dirinya sebagai hamba yang bersyukur dan sabar, sesiapa yang gagal dalamnya, tidak akan ditulis sebagai orang bersyukur dan sabar. Iaitu sesiapa yang melihat tentang agamanya kepada mereka yang jauh lebih baik darinya, lalu ia berusaha mengikutinya, dan dalam hal keduniaan mereka melihat kepada orang-orang yang kurang darinya sehingga ia memuji Allah atas nikmat yang diperolehinya .. ( Riwayat At-Tirmidzi, 4/665 ; Hadis Sohih menurut Tirmidzi dan Albani)


Tahniah atas kemampuan saudari untuk terus menjaga solat dan menjaga tingkah laku, namun solat yang hakiki dan ikhlas akan menghasilkan seorang yang gerun melakukan dosa, serta akan mendorong seseorang untuk tanpa lengah menunaikan tanggungjawab yang diarahkan Allah. Namun apabila saudari terus redha dalam pembukaan aurat sedangkan saudari menunaikan solat, ia bermakna solat saudari juga bermasalah. Tapi jangan pula mengatakan, "kalau begitu saya tak mahu solat kerana tak mahu hipokrit", ia telah kita bincang di atas tadi. Juga, buktikan kepada diri bahawa jagaan solat saudari adalah benar-benar sebuah ketaatan dan bukan hanya kosong tanpa isi. Tanda awal ia adalah benar-benar sebuah solat adalah saudari akan terbuka hati dengan cepat untuk menutup aurat tanpa terkesan dek buruk perangai orang sekitar yang kononnya menutup aurat.

Justeru, saya menasihatkan saudari agar segera keluar dari jenis individu yang saudari sendiri benci (bertudung atau tutup aurat tapi tak solat, mengumpat dsbgnya). Saudari membenci perangai mereka tetapi dari sudut pandangan agama, saudari sebenarnya adalah sebahagian dari mereka kerana : Mereka yang menutup aurat dan buruk perangai adalah sama darjatnya dengan mereka yang solat tapi tidak menutup aurat. Kedua-duanya tidak bertanggungjawab terhadap Allah dan sedang melakukan dosa.

Malah saudari juga patut bersyukur mendapat ibu yang prihatin soal kewajiban agama, terlalu ramai ibu di zaman ini yang hanyut dan lebih suka anak perempuan mereka mengikuti gaya yang disukai syaitan iaitu seksi. Lalu apabila ibu menyuruh, Allah juga mengarahkan, maka saudari bukan sahaja berdosa kerana aurat saudari yang terbuka, malah juga berdosa kerana tidak mematuhi suruhan dan harapan ibu, selain berdosa melanggar arahan Allah. Bukankah mentaati ibu dalam hal yang tidak membawa dosa adalah WAJIB?. Dan jatuh derhaka bagi seorang anak yang mengguris perasaan ibu, khususnya dalam hal nasihat ibu untuk kita mentaati arahan Allah swt.


Jika bukan sekarang, maka adakah apabila sudah terlantar di rumah mayat baru ingin berubah? Sedarilah wahai diri, bahawa kematian akan datang secara tiba-tiba dan tiada sebarang jaminan umur masih panjang beberapa minggu lagi. Kebaikan dan pelaksanaan tanggungjawab jangan sesekali ditangguhkan, kelak tidak kempunan di hadapan Allah. Moga Allah membantu saudari untuk segera berubah dan terbuka untuk menerima jawapan ini. Saya juga doakan saudari untuk segera berHIJRAH KE ARAH kebaikan, dan teruslah kita semua berusaha untuk ikhlas dalam semua amalan kita.



LayarMinda on Wednesday, October 27, 2010 at 4:03pm

Sunday, October 9, 2011

baby update

alhamdulillah baby boy now is 6 months old...

i have to say, i love being a mummy...i love playing wth my baby...he is so responsive...mashaAllah...

so far alhamdulillah he can sit and play...and he loves the playpan...seriously i dont think i can survive without the playpan...n the latest thing he can do this week, is berdiri inside the playpan while holding the sides.....hehehe...i think soon playpan pun dia dah taknak...but cousins dia kadang2 semua duduk dalam playpan, n he pun will happily sit with them..hehe...i dont knw why diorg suka main sempit2 dalam tu...

now he dah start makan.i waited sampai 6 months baru start, even though he is an above everage size baby..mmg towards the end tu, susah nak tido malam, i think because he was lapar... dah pandai sit on highchair and bumbo kalau nak dia slowly makin pekat..hopefully in 2 weeks i will slowly start introducing food like carrots and stuff...

Alhamdulillah last month he went for his first overseas trip..but dekat je, to singapore...masa pergi, because we naik firefly, n kan nak jalan to the plane, u can actually hear the loud engine boy was a bit scared, n he cried.n it was a bit susah for me to calm him down during the take off..but alhamdulillah after 15 mins, he slept...but i had to apologise coz baby boy cried quite loud awal2 tu...

masa balik, we took MAS, and alhamdulillah they upgraded loud engine sound, so baby boy just minum susu, n terus tido...n seat besar, it was much easier to feed him, n pegang him...

baby boy loves playing with his feet...

Sunday, October 2, 2011


Praise be to Allah SWT
salam everyone..... 
Jazzakallah Khair(thank you very much) for your time. Its been a long time, so i've decided to share something i've learnt in my aqidah class. Amazing MasyaAllah, free classes in english so please if anybody is interested kindly join.

 Before class i didnt even know the difference between akidah and tauhid, and now i know....

->which is for the first 13 years of Islam, Rasulullah SAW only concentrated his da'wah on tauhid alone before teaching them to do Ibadah, which shows how important it is for us to understand the whole concept of Aqidah. May Allah SWT open our hearts to gaining all knowledge...Ameen....
,before i share i need to clarify that i have a lot more to learn on this topic, so should you find any error in my writings/find a stronger dalil do correct me, i would really appreciate that.
Since small we have learnt that one of the things Allah SWT dont forgive us in the act of shirk (THE biggest sin), indeed it is not just a big sin, Allah SWT will not count ANY good deeds that is done in their lifetime and they shall remain in Hell forver even if he is someone "yg beramal soleh".
Allah SWT mention in Surah al-nisa 4:48 --> Surely Allah does not forgive that anything should be associated with Him, and forgives what is besides that to whomsoever He pleases; and whoever associates anything with Allah, he devises indeed a great sin. 
Surah al-An'am 6:88 --> This is the Guidance of Allah with which He guides whomsoever He wills of His slaves. But if they had joined in worship others with Allah, all that they used to do would have been of no benefit to them.
Please also refer Surah al-zumar39:65, Surah al-Hajj22:31, Surah al-Ma'idah5:72, Surah Luqman 31:13, Surah al-Shu'ara'26:97-98
p/s:For convenience please go to
Big Shirk is devided to 8 parts and And the no 4 is shirk taat/patuh. In this topic, i've learnt that whoever that obeys the scholars, the rulers, parents, friends or just anybody, BUT forbiding what Allah SWT has made halal and permitting what Allah SWT has made haram has certainly taken them as Lords (commit shirk). We will be no different from the yahudis and nasranis. 

Why Allah SWT punish us so harshly is this issue? its because Islam is not just a religion, Islam is a way of life...Its the perfect way of life and ALL example ware shown by Rasullulah SAW and his sahabah during their lifetime, and us changing it and making it our own meaning we are saying that we are greater than Islam and we are greater that Allah SWT and our version of Islam is better. in this world, Allah SAW left one thing that is perfect for us which is the Quran, so there should be nothing in there that we should add and nothing in there that we should subtract.

Please tell this to the everyone we love,so we make them amongst those with Iman, and May we be away from practising any shirk that we know, or we don't know....

Allah SWT knows best...

Sunday, September 11, 2011

viral fever...

baby boy had very bad demam hari tu, i saw a few doctors, because time raya mmg susah nak cari pead...finally after 4 days demam, we decided to bring him to the hospital, n he got admitted due to dehydration...he tak nak minum at all....

on the 2nd day at the hospital, finally doctor diagnose him with roseola virus...hmmm i wonder who jangkitkan to him...personal advice: please try not to kiss kiss any babies kalau tak sihat..kesian baby jangkit nanti...

alhamdulillah 3 days later he got aloooot better...he started bfeeding again..alhamdulillah...

because dia tak breastfeed for 3 days, my susu production terus drop, like by the 3rd day, mmg i sedar i disnt have any milk, pump pun 1oz je keluar.....ya Allah , i panic for a while...coz everytime my baby boy minum, he will cry n marah coz tak cukup to tambakhan susu i did the one thing  i knew would help me....drink alot  and eat alot 3 days later, alhamdulillah my milk production is back to mothers out there..dont give up breastfeeding...even when tak cukup, just eat more, n drink more, inshaAllah susu akan cukup...and make sure baby latch on...

Friday, September 2, 2011


Finally i have a facebook page for my blog...

do add me here...ive been wanting to update with more stories, but dgn dukacita, bila i share something in blog, somehow ada org  yang akan terasa/sakit hati/ marah and comment some very inappropriate things....

Thursday, August 11, 2011

what we can do in a minute....

1- In one minute, you can recite chapter Al-Faatihah (the opening chapter of the Quran) silently. Some scholars, may Allaah have mercy upon them, stated that a person gets more than 1400 good deeds for reciting it once. If one recites it 7 times, one gets 9800 good deeds in one minute.
2-  In one minute, you can say ''Astaghfiru Allaah'' (I seek forgiveness of Allaah) more than 100 times. The virtue of seeking forgiveness is well-known, it is a reason of obtaining forgiveness, entering Paradise, having good provisions, increasing one's strength, repelling harm, having affairs facilitated, the descent of rain, and increasing in wealth and children.
3- In one minute, you can read a part of the Quran.
4- In one minute, you can memorize a small verse of the Quran.
5- In one minute, you can say ''Laa ilaaha illa Allaah wahdahu laa shareeka lah, lahul mulku wa lahul hamdu wa huwa 'ala kulli chay'in qadeer'' (None has the right to be worshipped except Allaah Alone, He has neither partners nor associates, to Him belongs sovereignty and praise and He is over all things wholly capable) 20 times; its reward is setting 8 slaves free for the sake of Allaah from the children of Ismaa'eel (Ishmael), may Allaah exalt his mention.
6- In one minute, you can say ''Subhaana Allaah wa bihamdihi'' (How perfect Allaah is and all praise be to Him) 100 times, and whoever says this, his sins will be forgiven even if they were like the foams of the sea.
7- In one minute, you can say ''Subhaana Allaah wa bihamdihi, Subhaana Allaah Al-Adheem'' (How perfect Allaah is and all praise be to Him, how perfect Allaah is, The Supreme) 50 times, and these are two expressions which are easy to say, but they are very heavy on the scale of good deeds, and they are beloved to Allaah. [ [Bukhari: Hadith No:673, V:8] and [Bukhari, B:9, V:93, Hadith 652]].
Prophet Muhammad (sallahu Alayhi Wa Sallam) said, "There are) two words which are dear to the Beneficent (Allah) and very light (easy) for the tongue (to say), but very heavy in weight in the balance. They are: Subhan-Allahi wa bihamdihi, Subhan-Allahil-Azim (Allah is free from imperfection and His is the praise)'.
8- The Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, said: ''If I were to say: ''Subhaana Allaah, wal hamdu lillaah, wa laa ilaaha illa Allaah, wallaahu Akbar'' (How perfect Allaah is, all praise be to Allaah, None has the right to be worshipped except Allaah, and Allaah is the greatest.) it is better for me than the whole world.'' [Muslim]. In one minute, you can say all the above words 18 times, and these words are the most beloved words to Allaah, and the best of all speeches, and their weight on the scale of good deeds is very heavy, as reported in authentic narrations.
9- In one minute, you can say ''la hawla wa laa quwwata illa billaah'' (there is neither might nor power except by Allaah) more than 40 times. This is a treasure among the treasures of Paradise, as reported by Al-Bukhaari and Muslim, may Allaah have mercy upon them. It is also one of the major reasons of bearing difficulties and hardship.
10- In one minute, you can say ''Laa ilaaha illa Allaah'' (None has the right to be worshipped but Allaah) approximately 50 times, and it is the greatest word, as it is the word of Tawheed (Oneness of Allaah), a good word, and a firm statement, and whoever says this expression as his last words before breathing his last, he will enter Paradise; the above expression also has other virtues.

11- In one minute, you can say: ''Subhaanah Allaah wa bihamdihi, 'adada khalqihi, wa ridha nafsihi, wa zinata 'arshihi, wa midaada kalimaatihi'' (How perfect Allaah is and all praise be to Allaah, by the number of His Creation and His Pleasure, and by the weight of His Throne, and the ink of His Words) more than 15 times. This statement equals multiplied rewards of ordinary legislated mention of Allaah, as confirmed by the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam.
13- In one minute, you can give a short summarized speech which could be very beneficial for the listeners.
14- In one minute, you can exalt the mention of the Prophet, sallallaahu 'alayhi wa sallam, by saying ''Sala Allaahu 'Alayhi wa sallam'' (may Allaah exalt his mention) 50 times, for which Allaah will exalt your mention 500 times, because one exaltation is multiplied tenfold.
15- In one minute, you can think about the creation of the heavens and the earth, as a result you will be considered among the people of understanding whom Allaah mentioned in the Quran.
16- In one minute, you can think about being grateful to Allaah, loving Him, fearing Him, hoping for Him (His Mercy) and longing to meet Him; by doing so, you would have achieved great acts of worship while you may be lying down on your bed or walking in the street.
17- In one minute, you can read more than two pages from a beneficial book which is easy to understand.
18- In one minute, you can keep ties with your kinship by phoning them.
19- In one minute, you can supplicate with general supplications.
20- In one minute, you can greet (by saying Salaam to) a number of people and shake hands with them.
21- In one minute, you can forbid evil.
22- In one minute, you can enjoin good.
23- In one minute, you can advise a brother.
24- In one minute, you can intercede in doing good for a person.
25- In one minute, you can comfort a distressed person.
26- In one minute, you can take off an obstacle from the road.
27- By benefiting from one minute, you will preserve and benefit from other times.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

bouncer review

today im going to do a review on bouncers..

alhamdulillah rezeki my baby, cousins dia semua bagi pinjam berjenis-jenis he alhamdulillah dapat merasa segala jenis bouncer...

1) Inglesina bouncer

ok this bouncer is very cantik kan..i pinjam from my friend..bouncer ni, is good when your baby is newborn esp..sebab it can go flat, but the babies head lifted sikit, u put baby on top... baby will be comfortable...n dia ada tali at both sides to carry the bouncer around..but of course i tak larat to carry, but habib can.. hehee...the con of this bouncer is, it doesn't bounce much...esp my house yg takda carpet or tikar, its a bit licin, if bounce dia ada bunyi sikit because the bouncer langgar with the lantai...but kalau tak bounce then no problem.. u can adjust that  thing naik turun, follow the mood of the baby...if baby sleepy, can baring flat, if baby nak see around, can naikkan like the picture above...

2) mothercare bouncer

this bouncer price is very reasonable..hundred plus...basic bouncer, but reliable...dia ada getah at the bottom so tak licin...but the problem with this bouncer is, tak boleh adjust...settings macam tu je, kalau nak baby lie flat, kena naikkan the bawah part, n selalunya either i put pillows or naikkan to our coffee table..n then it will be flat..then baru baby will be comfortable...but bila baby dah besar sikit, then ok.

2) fisher price rocker

this baouncer, is more a rocker actually...dia boleh guna sampai baby besar...the kepala part can adjust. and ada that hanging thing yang can hang toys, so yes baby senang distracted to play2...the good part about this bouncer is its tinggi, not flat on the floor like other bouncers...n his cousins yang 2-4 years old pun senang play with him...esp they like to rock him sekali...the problem with this bouncer is also like inglesina bouncer, dia licin kalau bounce kuat sikit, the whole bouncer will move...i sometimes feel like its not safe.  Bouncer ni more for bigger babies, like after 3 months sbb the head part tinggi sikit, but u can put it flat for newborn, but kalau flat, dia dah tak boleh bounce dah, so this bouncer bila my baby jr dah 3 bulan baru i started using it...itu pun still badan dia after a while akan senget sbb he still cannot support his body...
this bouncer also has vibrating option..tapi even if i on it, takda effect langsung on my baby, he will still complain nak keluar...

4) baby bjorn bouncer...

this bouncer is by faaaaaaarrrrrr my favorite..its just the best...the bouncer is so solid i dont feel like it can terbalik, or licin or anything...the seat is so comfy, my baby kalau duduk sini dia diam je..kalau bounce him mmg 90% of the time dia akan tido...omg masa i first time used it, i just cannot believe how much my baby loves it..cara dia bounce pun lain the 4 year old nephew mmg suka bounce my baby in here...n yes, my baby will mashaAllah eventually fall asleep..imagine a 4 year old boy putting a baby to sleep...but this bouncer only has 1 biiiig flaw..its so mahal...Rm699...mmg if my sister in law tak bagi pinjam, i would never consider buying it..but after using it, mmg i think its worth every cent...belt dia pun, so lembut, tak kacau baby.
also this bouncer boleh flat terus, so its soo easy to bring to  travel, senang to carry n tak other bouncer we can bring to travel sbb semua bulky. even masa he was admitted kat hospital, we bring this..senang nak put baby to sleep
.my baby will happily sit in here...this is my lifesaver..i jaga my baby alone most of the time when habib is at work, so this has helped me sooooo much...can visit mothercare at the curve to try it out. they hv a display model...

5) Graco swing

this graco swing..mmg my baby manual..u wind it, n then it will swing on its own..lepas about 20 mins u just wind it all over jr, bila duduk sini, mmg akan terlelap because dia swing mana tak suka kan??? the con is, sometimes bila he dah bangun, he will nak pusing to keluar, its a bit dangerous when he does must monitor baby all the time bila atas ni...n bulky sikit this thing..u need a big place...

again alhamdulillah i would like to thank everyone that has been kind enough to borrow us all this bouncers/swing, sampai we didnt have to buy any of these..May Allah swt bless all your kindness...ameen..